How do you define healthy sexuality?
Quelle est votre définition d’une saine sexualité?

What does healthy fucking mean for you?
Que veut dire baiser sainement pour vous?

How do you like to be touched?
De quelle façon aimez-vous être touché?

How do you like to touch others?
De quelle façon aimez-vous toucher les autres?

What is healthy intimacy?
Quelle serait votre definition d’une saine intimité?

The following is a compilation of the answers that inspired the work:

De la confiance. moins de la fidélité que de la confiance, de l’honnêteté. beaucoup d’honnêteté. pour libérer la tristesse. une rencontre sans performance où le mental est mis sur la tablette. une rencontre ludique avant tout émotive, énergétique, corporelle. de l’écoute, de l’écoute, de l’écoute. de la présence. en équipe et non en duel. une balance, alternance des forces. une capacité d’assumer ma nature d’homme. homme comme dans cow-boy, super héros, bête. une capacité d’incarner le yang dans toute sa puissance, son rayonnement, son expansion, son agressivité. mais aussi une capacité de conserver la joie du toucher, de la tendresse, de l’effleurement, de cette infime tension magnétique se créant au rapprochement partiel de deux corps. des yeux, des yeux, pour permettre à nos “êtres” d’entrer réellement en contact, leur donner le temps qu’il faudra pour qu’ils se “re-co-nnaîssent” dans le sens le plus riche du mot, sans que nos raisons sachent trop quoi en penser... et de l’extase, de la fusion énergétique, un enlacement de canaux pour l’univers en entier.

Consensual, playful, full of trust Enough trust and curiosity to explore and experiment. Open ground for surrender and acts of pleasure Given freely, taken freely. Room for strength and fragility Space for soft and firm Capable of slow comforting and quick awakening Of hard pounding and sweet moisture Of long sustained sensuality Or the fast, hard, urgency of the run towards orgasm. Filled with learning and teaching With willingness to learn Willingness to teach With willingness and choice To open To be filled To have one’s pleasure and need served by the beloved To serve the pleasure and need of the beloved. To ask for …and to deliver what is asked of… To speak one’s truths, and respect one’s lover’s truths. Embedded with both laughter and with tears With both the giggles and the gasping for breath With relief and respect With connection and complicity With hard play and with hard work

Warm love, hands on, mouth on, hands in, tongues in Body wrapping body Safety cocoon All our fears voiced All our needs voiced No limits but those we state between us Respect Communication Confusion gone Confusion revisited Confusion confounded Gentle exploration Pulsing energy youmemeyouyoumemeyou Breath, sing, dance girlboygirlgirlboyboyboygirlgirlgirlgirlgirl manwomanwomanmanwomanwomanmanmanwomanmanmanwoman joyfunsorrowloss caring caring caring

Healthy sex requires the utmost of consciousness between the two consenting people... the deepest awareness of wholeness...in the individuals and in the "act". What matters to me is that the partner is ACTUALLY "seeing" and "knowing" me with gentle care, my reaction, my willingness, my spirit at that most vulnerable of moments. Healthy fucking is a good, good dialogue.

This is a tough one. I don't define healthy sexuality as necessarily being healthy fucking. They are two different questions. As for touching, are you talking about physically touching or other forms? Using words, my words particularly, is a form of distancing. As well, healthy sexuality and healthy fucking are not visual experiences for me. So the field of vibrant orange you describe and the words being laid one of the other are also part of that distancing. Perhaps it is best to give you a story instead. A sign of healthy sexuality but not necessarily healthy fucking. Recently I was invited to visit a friend at his home. I was worried because I did not know how the various boundaries (of two individuals who are attracted to each other but who are both content in their own love relationships) were going to be dealt with. I am pleased to say the visit went very well and has helped our friendship continue to evolve. But he did something for me that was highly charged sexually and a delight - he prepared me lunch. For me it was a wonderfully gift to sit talking as he prepared his ingredients and cooked a delicious meal that we then shared. What I can begin to describe is what healthy intimacy means to me. It has to do with sharing, recognizing each person is separate, accepting there are differences, yet knowing there is also respect, trust and mutual pleasure. It has to do with the joy of being with someone you care for, whose company is wonderful whether anything is said or done - or not. It's the possibility of saying nothing and still being understood.

Balance, respect, questions, communication, authorization, acceptance, relaxation, liberation, communion, participation

I'll talk about what's right for me, which is not necessarily what I think is right for everyone or even necessarily right generally -- noting that my answer to this question changes fairly regularly in ways I often can't predict. For me it is useful to have more than one partner, even though I have a primary relationship. Different people speak to different parts of me, and as huge and brilliant and ecstatic a gift as so many of my sexual experiences have been, I haven't found one person who could answer every sexual impulse I have. And I've never known myself so well that each new encounter hasn't also taught me something new about myself. So -- a sexual life that leaves me open to new adventures and discoveries, a sexuality that expands rather than obliterates, that supports rather than strangles. For me sexuality is a way of sharing intimacy, of learning more about the person or people I'm playing with. I'm not attracted to sex with strangers, and the more we've already experienced together, the more comfortable I feel and the better the sex. The more sex we've had together, the better it gets. I'm turned on by mutual attraction. I want to know that there's consent and shared excitement. I like the range of experiences that sex offers -- passion, comfort, solidarity, need, confusion... A healthy sexuality recognizes our complexity as humans and can shift to accommodate the fluid nature of human interactions, a sexuality that doesn't take any one fetish, any one power role, any one expectation too seriously. I love skin to skin contact, but safety is important -- I don't want to give or receive any STDs. Healthy fucking can involve any body part, any cell in the body. Healthy fucking reaches the soul. I like to be touched tenderly, roughly, confidently, shyly, carefully, openly, honestly, slyly, familiarly, respectfully, casually, adoringly, attentively, naturally, magically, mundanely, impulsively, precisely, intelligently, bluntly, subtly, simply, ecstatically, gently, supportively, maturely, swiftly, slowly, playfully, seriously, sporadically, wholly, intensely, unselfconsciously, deliciously, voraciously, wisely, guilelessly, expectantly, graciously, accidentally, intentionally, physically, invisibly, clinically, humanely, tentatively, ably I like to touch others roughly, tenderly, shyly, confidently, openly, carefully, slyly, honestly, respectfully, familiarly, adoringly, casually, naturally, attentively, mundanely, magically, precisely, impulsively, bluntly, intelligently, simply, subtly, gently, ecstatically, maturely, supportively, slowly, swiftly, seriously, playfully, wholly, sporadically, unselfconsciously, intensely, voraciously, deliciously, guilelessly, wisely, graciously, expectantly, intentionally, accidentally, invisibly, physically, humanely, clinically, tentatively, ably. Healthy intimacy runs on questions. Healthy intimacy never repeats itself exactly. Healthy intimacy only goes so far as it knows how to get back. Healthy intimacy goes deeper goes deeper, searches further, searches further. Healthy intimacy keeps its balance. Healthy intimacy plays opposing tensions. Healthy intimacy tests the lie. Healthy intimacy acknowledges that when the image is gone, the image is gone. Healthy intimacy is in perpetual motion. Healthy intimacy breathes the return.

Healthy sexuality is when a person feels good about their sexual self. Healthy fucking is when two or more people feel good before, during and after fucking. I like to be touched in a million different ways, especially mentally. Healthy intimacy is when a person feels good about their intimate self.

I like to be touched and touch others with consciousness and love. Healthy intimacy is true connection with self and other and the divine.

This morning I wake full of fear and anxiety and I miss you being in the bed beside me. I want to crawl under your skin and nuzzle up into your arms, bury my face against your rough beard, scratching the numbness out of me. I fantasize you are scooping me up into you, my back pressed up against your belly, your arm wrapped around my fear, your hand holding my breast like a warm blueberry muffin. I begin to feel soothed. You’ll be here in two nights. 48 hours is not so long to wait for your smell. Nothing else in the world smells like you and I am the one who smells you. I am the one who strokes the silky hair in your armpits. I am the one who cups the firm muscles of your arms. I am the one who is the delighted child in her daddy’s arms who transforms into a woman safe enough to crave this man, this smell, this strength rumbling like a hungry animal. I am the one who feels the weight of you bearing down on me… my warm animal that I pull into my hunger to quench my desire. I feel the muscles on your back and arms and travel their shape and firmness with my arms and hands, over and over and slide down to feel the perfect firmness of your ass and the thick, dense solid love of your thighs. We roll over and I slide down your chest, that furry forest of delight. I kiss and kiss. I come between your legs and nibble at your hard firm cock and take it in my hand and rub it over my nipples and breasts. You moan as I moisten you with my mouth. But you’ll never be as moist as me. I am like a river. I am the salty ocean wide and open. And you slide down on me and with your tongue your drink me. You lick me like a cat. The power of my sex is yours and I trust you to drink and quench your thirst. The source of our pleasure seems endless. But I want you inside me… There. I pull you up and you enter. It always feels like a completion. Like I’ve found something I thought I would never be able to have… something that was kept from me. And now you’re here penetrating into me. We find our rhythm so easily… my hands pulling you in deeper and deeper. Oh and the kisses. We’re eating each other’s mouths, tongues lips. And the fear that I was is gone consumed by pleasure, that great big crashing wave of fucking wonderful ecstatic pleasure and we are crying, laughing, making way too much noise for our placid neighbors. We are laughing and laughing, rolling around, wrecking the bed again. We kiss softly. Say how lucky we are. Hold each other. Grateful. It’s the letting go… of all restraint. Getting what you want. Sex satisfies… for the time being. Tomorrow lust will raise her nose again. They’ll be more fear, more craving, more wanting to merge, be extinguished from this small self. And we’ll be there again, for the time being. Melting our worries, laughter, trepidation into the immense joy of seeing each other’s eyes clear with acceptance.

healthy fucking means connected, communicating, risk-taking and open fucking. It means a fluid and open definition of sex, sexuality and intimacy. it means feeling beauty and beautiful. it means feeling dirty and raw. it means getting what you need and giving to your lover. it means pushing yourself a little farther into Knowing every time. it also means being careful with your physical health - taking precautions when necessary and not being afraid to state your needs in all realms: psychic, spiritual, physical and emotional. i like to be touched in different ways according to my mood. sometimes, i want no physical contact except for rough fucking or biting or even wrestling. sometimes i want to neck for hours and only feel lips everywhere. sometimes i want to feel my lover's pussy or cock or asshole and not be touched myself at all. sometimes i want to be slowly and subtly caressed along every muscle and bone. there are times when i want to totally seduce my lover. times when i want to use my breath, my speed, my hands, ass, legs and thighs to bring them to ecstasy. there are times when i only want to use my lips or my fingertips or nipples to touch them everywhere or in one specific beautiful spot. times when i want to be as dirty and perverted as possible, pulling past repressions and shames out of the closet and playing with them. the question of what is healthy intimacy has been really transforming for me lately. i think intimacy is a massive spectrum that ebbs and flows in every relationship. the healthiest intimacy for me is one that allows people to communicate their deepest love and fears without risking any loss. it is a closeness that expands with more and more honesty. it can be sexual, fantasy-based, friendly, post-lover-ship, family of all ages, connection with animals, any deep connection with another being. the only limits are our own, and the gentleness of intimacy is also its power: to challenge us and flow into unused spaces. to let us explore ourselves and love. to remove fear, and replace it with holiness and synchronicity.

Le sexe, c'est cochon, mais seulement si c'est bien fait.

Healthy sex is between consenting (relative, realistic?) equals; adults or children. There can be no coercion in this. Within those parameters it is uplifting, transcendent and will make you one with God and the universe. It is sublime touches, the effort to please and be pleased. It is the desire to be close in the most profound way. Sex is laughter and release. It is tension and the ease of all cares. Healthy sex gives room to each person. It does not close one to the world but rather, it opens one to all mystery. It is what drives us...to pleasure, to procreation to creation. It is the joy in someone's smile as well as their organs. It is good. I want some tonight!

healthy fucking is a fun, serious, joyful exploring of another's body and my own, good lovemaking teaches you your body all over again, as in hey! that was amazing! don't remember ever experiencing THAT before and in essence you really haven't because the new experience is with a new person, or on another occasion with a same person so it's different every time and in the moment' moment oh and by the way, even lousy lovemaking is pretty awesome in that to share yourself physically with someone else, the mutual exchange of pleasure , the opportunity to take each other to those heights, even if not reached, is one of the great thing about being human.

good healthy fucking begins with trust- trust begins in a part of your body before you even know it --and then you know it delicious, vulnerable touch is given/ taken-- the touch feels good...the mind and heart is open, vulnerable; the smell is right... the body receptive... fucking happens alot of times before good healthy fucking does - but not always a good healthy fuck rocks them to sleep and lulls them awake-- they feel good, clear and able to look at each other in the eyes- and into the future.

Healthy fucking, hmm I wish I knew. I’m 33 and I still wish it were easy. I don’t come easily. In the last couple of years I can only think of one time… with another person anyways. Alone it’s much easier, not cosmic but regular. I am alone now. I have had a lot of experiences with rejection. For a very long time I would allow myself to be in dynamics where any sign of spontaneity or desire or lust or love or fun or anything that came with a smile or with a sway of the hip or hunger or anything that came out of me toward the other was refused, stalled, deflected. Over the years I’ve learned that compatibility is not as simple as two basic sets of equipments in one space. I still wonder about that. There are endless variations. It’s been a while. Next time, I only hope to remember how good I feel now and to be able to take that wherever things take me. I guess healthy sexuality for me would be to feel trust and desire and to feel desired in return. If this was my letter to Santa, I would love to be completely outrageous and ask for a lover who liked it a lot, who had no hang ups somebody who likes to touch a lot, and enjoys being touched and fondled and kissed. I think I’d need some time.

Healthy fucking means shameless free flight I like to be touched with honest big hands and deep eyes I like to touch others without question Healthy intimacy is hallucinatory without driving you mad

Healthy sexuality for me means experiencing it. As soon as I talk about it and try to analyze, it gets complicated. Experiencing sexuality (good, healthy sexuality) is a process for me and changes with the time and the person I am living it. The best sexual experience is probably the one where words don’t have space where there is pure sensuality, pure feeling, touching, intimacy with a loved person. So these moments of pure sensuality, when the brain (or the act of thinking) is finally switched off, happen rarely. lIn order to make them happen one has to practice a lot! Actually it is something that is probably not possible: experiencing the pure sexual pleasure and being conscious about it at the same time?

The absence of crabs Lubrication Loosing yourself in the high of love and hormones The promise of tea and toast afterwards

what is good fucking? it's pure mind meld into body so there's no more thinking, talking, writing, or explaining. actual physical actions seem indescribable or shouldn't be described. also topping and bottoming seem integral to what to describe, but i don't feel like doing that right now. Both soft and loud sound (oh, i won't describe them) are very amazing, gutteral, freeing. makes me wonder if the chakra down there moves up to the throat. mystery, seduction, melting into is crucial. pelvic 'rubbing tofu' as is slang for lesbian sex in chinese. hands and quality of touch, slow, fast, magnetic and again melting into, all of the above are so profound and so simple.

Et ce seront des fragments, entrelacés, par ce que la sexualité est pour moi une succession de petits moments qui surviennent bien avant les embrassades pleines de fougues qui redonnent tellement d'énergie et de confiance en la vie... Désir. Amour. Désir-amour-désir, entrelacés, mélangés, chamboulés. Deux êtres qui se rencontrent, se connaissent, se découvrent sans se découvrir tout à fait. Un regard, un frôlement, une tension, surgie, coulante. Une rivière d'énergie. Une intimité brusque. Passionnante parce que si vite, parce qu'inattendue. Une liberté de laisser aller, de laisser venir la légèreté. Se sentir s'envoler, sortir de soi. Sortir de soi, s'appaiser en un autre sans l'annihiler. Pas devenir un. Rester deux, rester deux et être bien, dans une dualité qui perd de sa pesanteur. Franchier pour un temps infime l'infinie barrière qui nous sépare de l'autre.

healthy sexuality is one where there is listening - of one's own needs, but of other's as well. it's a dialogue of desire, need, or fantasy. it's a multitude of possibilities that are layered - that are heard or not... but there needs to be a will to listen and respect others. a will to set one's own boundaries and respect them. there is a multitude of ways to be touched, that i liked to be touched. they vary from time to time, depending on my mood, on my need. i long to be loved for the wholeness of who i am. i long to be touched authentically, intrinsically. and sometimes, i long to be not touched. only heard.

healthy making love is taking care of the making love coming together

Les effets de la ménopause me rangent, en matière de sexualité, du côté de la simplicité involontaire, elle m’a en quelque sorte neutralisée. Les chaleurs qui m’enflamment à tout moment n’ont rien à voir avec de fiévreuses appétences sexuelles. L’affection et la tendresse ont donc pris le relais et une très grande place dans ma vie de couple. Là, comme dans tout le reste, on doit trouver son propre chemin. J’aime toucher et j’aime être touchée, avec douceur et subtilité, par petites touches, dans des jeux que l’on invente, une sorte de danse nuptiale avec des mots. L’humeur de chacun est importante, il faut quelquefois séduire et d’autres fois se laisser séduire pour participer avec plaisir, chacun doit donc faire preuve d’imagination et s’y amuser. Je suis lente et j’ai horreur d’être brusquée. Je préfère les préliminaires à la conclusion. Une vie sexuelle saine est une relation basée sur la confiance et la solidarité, pas de dominant, pas de dominé, pas de bon, pas de méchant.

Si j'ai dit spontanément qu'une sexualité saine était une sexualité vécu au quotidien, c'est à dire chaque jour, je pensais peut-être plus à un souhait qu'à une réalité. Finalement à bien y penser je crois que cette idée du quotidien n'est peut-être étrangé à l'idée que pour moi une sexualité "saine" serait quelque chose de simple. Oui quelque chose de simple comme manger et dormir bien que ces activités puissent être complexe pour certaines personnes et dans certaines circonstances. Un moment où on se permet d'être avec quelqu'un avec tout ce que ça comporte de surprenant et de connu, de réconfortant et d'inquiètant. Comment j'aime toucher? quand je sens que l'autre personne le désire et vice versa j'aime être touchée quand je suis prête à me rapprocher de l'autre. Mais cela peut varier, je ne connais pas tous les scénari que la vie peut m'offrir. Healthy intimacy...quand on a le goût de s'abandonner.

Quite young, only a child. Des caresses, trop affectueuses. Un tremblement. Something’s wrong. Blank. Still young, only a teen. My first time. L’amour. Wrong way of learning. Feeling young, pas trop vieille, pas encore. De multiples expériences, bonnes et mauvaises, j’en ai vécues. Aujourd’hui, pour aimer « faire l’amour » or simply fuck, j’ai besoin d’avoir le contrôle, pas dominer mais tout simplement sentir que j’me fais pas avoir. Je suis peut-être un peu trop romantique. J’aime me faire masser, caresser doucement. No violence, please. Me faire prendre de force is totally a turn off. Je déteste la noirceur, j’ai besoin de voir, de voir mon partenaire, de voir ce qui se passe, jouir et le voir jouir. I’m just afraid of darkness, I guess. Un néant trop vaste. So, healthy fucking means to me sharing a moment of pleasure, savourer pleinement de corps de l’autre, qu’il soit ami, amant, amoureux. Bien baiser doit alors signifier communiquer sainement, non seulement par la voix, le verbe, la langue, les langues qui doivent se délier pour faire jouir l’une et l’autre. C’est pas nécessaire de faire trop de bruit, it’s not a show. Only for the ones enjoying each other’s odors and fluids. Avant tout, j’aime embrasser et caresser. J’ai encore besoin de douceur. Lenteur. J’suis pas pressée.